There Is No Me Without You

Most of you that know me well, know that I am not a reader. (unless it's a celebrity gossip magazine with lots of pictures- if you can even call that reading(-:) However, from the very beginning of our adoption process, there was one book mentioned over and over as a "must read". My first thoughts were "Wow, this book sounds like it's made a big impact on many of its readers. I wish I could read a book!" Ok, so it wasn't that I couldn't read, I just dreaded the thought of reading an entire book to completion. But in reality, I deep down admired those book worms that would take the time to sit down w/ a good book. I loved the fact that you could learn SO much from reading, so much so that I would actually buy books that I "wanted" to read and give them to Luke to read on a long trip. Ha!

So defeating all odds, I was on a mission to buy this book and read it. Luke just chuckled. (probably thinking it was another book I was going to try to get him to read and then translate it to me) Well, I bought it and started to read it. I did have a hard time following along in the beginning-(it may have been the fact that I was on the beach and constantly interrupted with "Mommy, will you build a sandcastle with me or Mommy, I'm hungry...you get the picture) It was alot of history and statistics. But, just as I was confirming the reason why I never read, it started to grab my attention. I found myself with that book in my face almost every night, soaring through the pages and sobbing through many of them. I have never read a book that so profoundly touched my heart. (ok, so I haven't read a ton of books, but trust me, it was compelling)

Without giving it all away and allowing you to read it(-:, it is a story of Haregewoin Teferra, a middle class Ethiopian woman who found herself at the heart of a global health crisis- AIDS. After losing her husband and daughter and experiencing great grief, she reluctantly agreed to take in two of Addis Ababa's thousands of AIDS orphans. There was literally NO place for them to go-they were completely shunned. Soon children of all ages began to appear at her tin walled compound. She eventually started an orphanage and began facilitating adoptions to homes all over the world.

The story was extremely educational, heartbreaking and inspirational all at the same time. Each time I would pick it up, I was re-affirmed on our decision to adopt from Ethiopia. At heart, it was a book about children and parents, wherever they may be, however they may find eachother. I would handsdown recommend this book to everyone to read. And because of it, you may just find this "non reader" with another book in her hand at the beach this summer(-:

Fingerprinting Appointment......

WHAT!? Today I received our biometrics appt from the USCIS. It's scheduled for 6/15. Our caseworker said we now hold the record for the fastest processing at USCIS. Must be slow over there this time of year(-: We were also informed by our agency that we should try showing up at an earlier date. They will typically get you right in and it will knock a few weeks off. We'll give it a try.

Receipt....already?

Yesterday I was quite shocked to get a paper document from the Dept of Homeland Security acknowledging that they received our paperwork and request for orphan approval. I was told it would be a min. of 2-3 weeks before I got this and it was 9 days. But before we get too excited, this is only a notification stating they received it. It will be another 2-3 weeks before we get an appt for fingerprinting and another 2-3 weeks before our actual approval comes in the mail. However, our agency informed us to write our check out for the wrong amt, so that could delay us a few more weeks. But, the good news is that it's there and in the midst of being processed.

On the dossier front, I spent a day this week running around getting bloodwork done, local police clearances, passport photos, letters typed, etc. On Monday, we will have it all notarized and most all dossier items checked off our list! I remember the day I received the dossier packet and how overwhelming it felt. But slowly we've been chipping away at it and it's hard to believe that info is almost all gathered! Once we receive our approval from USCIS, we can throw it in with our dossier paperwork, get it all sealed and sent off right away.(of course there are many small steps in between there, but who cares about the details, right? haha)

Today we also received some more news.......get this......I told you a few weeks ago that our agency signed on with a new orphanage. Well today we received word that they have added 2 more! AAI is now working with 5 orphanages throughout Addis & Awassa. There are at least two other agencies working with these same ones as well, but the referral list is being knocked down as I write this. They are very careful about the timeframes they give people in waiting(they don't want to open the door to any false hope-especially when it involves a child)but I was actually told this week that our initial approx. 10-12 month wait (once our dossier is submitted) will probably be shorter. AAHHH! I sat there and thought about this after she told me and my heart started to race and all sort of thoughts ran through my mind. She actually may be born right around now-what if she's being abandoned today? What if she's starving right now? What if medical complications are beginning to set in? What if her needs aren't being met? What if her mother's needs aren't being met? But Becket is still a baby- I thought he'd be at least 2 1/2. Where will she sleep if it is earlier than we expected? We still have lots of research and reading to do, there is no way we'd be prepared in 6-8 months! AND THEN IT HIT ME...this is only a glimpse into our adoption story. And like many that have come before us, it really is a ride. And for Missy Planner over here, it offers up so many lessons.
1) We need to "pray without ceasing" for our little girl (and all the orphans for that matter)-PLEASE join us in this!
2)Our "perfect plan" is not always His.
3)This thing called adoption demands that we constantly release ourselves and place our complete and utter trust in Him!

Sure, part of it stresses me out, but if I'm outright honest, I have butterflies just thinking about it.

USCIS Paperwork....CHECK!

So yesterday we attended the trans-racial training that is required for all families adopting from another race. It was very eye opening and the excercises really made us think about how we are going to incorporate Ethiopian culture into our family and expose our little girl and our other children to people of other colors. We really live in a "white world" here in West Michigan-our schools are predominately white, our church is predominately white, our doctors/dentists are predominately white, our friends are predominately white and the list goes on. We really never thought about it before, because we feel comfortable in our surroundings. Maybe she won't feel as comfortable standing out. We are now brainstorming on how we can become a more multi-cultural family-for all of our benefit, not just our ET girl. There were two adult speakers-one was an African American lady adopted into an all white dutch family back in 1968 when it was illegal to adopt an African American child. (Can you even believe that was a law!?) The other was a Korean lady adopted into an all white dutch family...surprise! Their stories were so inspiring and taught us some critical things. It was great to get a broadened perspective from people who have "lived" it. The common thread was the pure greatfulness these women felt towards their adoptive Mom & Dad-especially when they took a lot of flack for it.

At the same time, we were able to bring home our completed homestudy last night. We read it as soon as we got home and it was literally like a flashback of our entire lives! It was as if we were reading about someone else(-: Today, I anxiously drove over to the fed-x store and overnighted the homestudy along with all supporting documentation to the US Citizenship & Immigration offices. Now, we will wait. We've been told it will be a few weeks before we get acknowledgement of our paperwork, a few more weeks before we get a fingerprinting appt, and another month before we receive our actual approval. Once we get our "golden ticket" (aka: orphan visa approval I-171-H) we will be onto the most daunting portion of the paperwork- our dossier!

Moving right along....

We got word yesterday that our homestudy document was completed by our caseworker and is in the process of review and notarizing at the agency. We are hoping to go pick it up next week and send everything off to the United States Citizenship & Immigration services (USCIS).

On another note, we received some encouraging news from our agency this week. They have now joined hands with another orphanage in Addis! The name of the orphanage is Engida and their children are from Addis Ababa and parts of Eastern Ethiopia. They referred their first baby from that orphanage last week! Their ET contact is also searching for more orphanages to parter with, which we are very excited about. It will speed up that list of those "waiting" and find homes for those orphans more quickly. However, when I read this to Luke we just laughed that we need at least another year to get Becket out of his yelling & "busy" (aka:destructive) stage before we have any more babies(-: God knows best though. Looking forwrd to seeing His perfect plan unfold!

Homestudy Part 3...check!

On Wednesday (4/14), we had our 3rd and final homestudy meeting with our caseworker. This final meeting was at our home and the purpose was to wrap things up with us, examine our living conditions and meet our children. I've been so fly by the seat of my pants with these meetings, which has really helped our caseworker see our true colors and what life is "really" like over here. At least that's my justification(-: I think she was a bit overwhelmed walking into our chaotic house, but she didn't deny us, so that's a good sign(-: We had a sitter come over to entertain the kids after she was able to meet them. Of course, Aria and Becket had just woke up from their nap and were disheveled, clingy, and shy which is so contrary to their personalities. And Kai, yeah, well he was Kai. He eagerly and HONESTLY answered all of her questions making us laugh with each answer. At one point she asked him if he had any concerns with us adopting a baby sister and he goes "yeah. just one" She says, well what? He goes, "We don't have a room for her to sleep in" When we told him we had it all figured out, he insisted we share with him our plan right then and there. After he heard the plan, his "concern" diminished. Guess he's a planner like his Dad. Then she asks Aria if she was excited to have a baby sister and with her head down, snuggled in to daddy's chest, she briefly nods her head. Kai goes, "well at least I'm the only one excited about this adoption!" We quickly shuffled the kids outside with our sitter (ha!) and she took them all to the park while we finished up. It's hard to believe this phase is over already- even though our sessions were long, we really flew through the homestudy process quickly-less than a month! Our caseworker hopes to type our official 8pg homestudy document next week and hopefully by the beginning of May, we'll be able to file our I600A so we can start our wait for approval from Immigration. One thing that really touched our hearts was her comments on our reference letters. She told us how beautiful each and every letter was and how heartfelt they were. Even though she sees these letters often, you could tell she was really blown away. You guys must all be professional writers!(-: Thank you so much. We are truly blessed with wonderful friends (and family) to support us on this journey. Thank you for walking this road with us-it means the world to have you by our sides in whatever life brings.

Homestudy Part 2

On Monday, April 5th, Luke and I had our 2nd homestudy meeting with our caseworker. This time, she was going to meet with each of us individually. I went first and came out of the room an hour and half later. When I asked her how long they typically go,she politely said they can go anywhere from 30 minute to 1hr and 30 min. I guess I was on the far end and thought for a moment that I must be her most "talkative" client. I told her not to worry, that since Luke was next, it was sure to be only a half hour. He IS a guy and I'm sure his answers would more than likely be one or two words. WRONG! He was in there for 1hr 45 minutes and topped her record for longest individual homestudy. Ha! I guess we have lots to share(-: It was an interview with the purpose of really getting to know each of us. We both found it hard to remember things that happened 30+ years ago, but it was very thought provoking. There were many things that came up that explained the way I am today. Much of that I'm thankful for. I was once again reminded how grateful I am to have grown up in a loving, christian home with a Mom that stayed home with me. (even though there were times I wished she would get an outside job so I could get into trouble-sorry mom(-:)

On another note, we were notified this week that the Ethiopian government is now requiring two trips for the adoption process. This was unfortunate news as one of the appealing things about Ethiopia is that it only required a one week trip, which is less time to be leaving our other 3 children behind. But I know God has it all planned out. He will provide a way, and hopefully childcare for an additional week(-: Who knows, by the time it's our time to travel, things could very well change again. I'm trying not to get too phased about each turn in the road. I'm sure there are more significant ones coming up. That's life, right!?