"Children Of God" and a mix of emotions....

It is hard to believe that one week ago today we saw the face of our baby girl for the very first time. I have to admit, I can't help but stare at her picture and long to hold her in my arms, oh probably 100 times a day. The other night the kids were in bed and Luke and I were sitting here looking at her pictures and I looked up at him and said "Can you believe that this is your daughter?! We will one day watch her graduate from high school, you will walk her down the aisle, she is your daughter!" It really hasn't fully set in yet. That night we layed in bed talking about how different this is from the births of our other 3 children, yet how similar. We video taped the referral phone call just as we did all three kids births. We are preparing our home for her just as we did with the other 3 kids. Yet, it is so different. I haven't carried her in my womb for 9 months, I don't know the smell of her sweet skin, I don't know how she feels in my arms, yet she is our daughter! Luke told me that now I know how he felt when I was pregnant with the kids....that connection becomes more of a reality the second we meet her face to face in person. Until then, there is so much love building in our hearts, and while we are "trying" to love loosely because she is not yet officially ours, that's just plain impossible. Just when it starts to seem that this will be more than my heart can bear, this song pops into my head.....

I'm sure most of you have seen this amazing video circulating by Third Day. Part of the message of "Children of God" really set in for me the year we dedicated Kai to the Lord. I really struggled with it- I didn't want to turn him over, he was MINE.  The more I studied about child dedication, the more it became clear to me that he is God's child, he has just given us the incredible responsibility to raise him here on earth.  Have you ever really thought about that? Then it goes a step further- John 1:12-13 says: But as many as received him, to them he gave the power to become the Sons of God, even to them that believe on his name. 13 which were born, not of blood nor of the will of flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.  We are children of God & have been adopted through his Son! This has never felt more true than it does now....Kai, Aria, Becket & Tsehaynesh are all God's children.  So when I heard this song for the first time, tears flowed.  So turn it up and take it all in....."We are the saints, we are the children, we've been redeemed, we've been forgiven, we are the sons & daughters of God" I have a feeling that I'm going to need to remind myself of this daily for the next few months....or years(-: